Hi all! I’m Jessica LeCheminant.
*this is me doing my ‘across the room-big-goofy wave*
I would like to take this very first blog post to completely humanize it, and myself, by talking about some of my life’s bigger downfalls. (I promise that it just SOUNDS like more of a bummer than it actually turns out to be.)
This isn’t just a pretty website page, randomly floating around the Internet telling you how to do things better. No sir, no ma’am. It’s a shared journey, a community of understanding, and a sanctuary for the bumps, bruises, and victories of life. It’s all about finding that sweet spot between up and down, where thriving, and dare I say, “fire lighting” happens.
Alright, let’s talk nitty gritty.
I don’t always make the “right” decisions. There have been plenty of moments in life where I’ve found myself in a pickle and saying, “Really Jessica?!” How many times did hindsight provide 20/20 vision? More times than I can count, that’s for sure. Did I ever lose sight? OF COURSE.
But here’s the deal, I figured out that in order to become the best version of myself, I needed to embrace the words,
“sometimes you win, and sometimes you learn.”
Without knowledge and understanding, especially gained through experience, what would we be?
There have been things that happened to me without my control, and there have been things that occurred solely because of my actions. Did I learn less from one than I did from the other? Nnnnnnope! In fact I probably learned a little something extra when the lesson was based on my own actions.
It’s hard to learn things about yourself that maybe aren’t so *cough* favorable. I know I had to understand that these inner discoveries were the only way to get to Jess 1.8, 2.0, and 3.4 (As I’m singing Beyonce’s ‘Upgrade You’).
If life’s lessons had been handed to me with an instructional booklet and some cookies, would I have ACTUALLY learned anything, or paid much attention for that matter?
(Except for the cookies . . . I always pay attention to cookies.)
Countless nights I had my mom awake worrying about me and about where I was when I was in high school, and paying the price once finally returning home. I’ve had what feels like a bazillion “I told you so” heart breaks, all because I didn’t listen to myself/my gut/the red flags/all of those other things that women seem to discretely ignore. From fender benders to various relationships lost, though a form of loss in some sense, all bearing lessons to navigate me through life a little bit smarter the next time ‘round.
“But Jessica, you’re always so happy.”
To that I give you a big fat LOL.
Haven’t you ever heard of fake it till you make it? Hellloooooo!! **insert big arrows pointing in my general direction** Yeah, that sucked, or I was bummed. Yes, I was disappointed at that outcome, or so mad at myself that I could just spit! But how is walking around sulking becoming the best version of me?
We can dwell, or we can grow.
I can tell you first hand which one is packed with more fun, interest, and self-love. Can you guess which one? Happy is as happy does. By that I mean, that I can make the choice to do things in my life that make me happy, and I can make the choice to simply BE happy. Some days that is, of course, easier said than done. But don’t you think there is a sort of valiance in fighting to/for good? Well that’s how I choose to see it anyway.
My brother often jokes about the fact that my mom and I are “Pollyanna’s” and how we CHOOSE to see the good in things as often as possible. What do you think about those “types”? Do you see yourself as a member of the club? Or do you laugh at their seemingly naiveté? Ever wish you saw things the same way? Or have you ever been in a situation where you later wished you’d handled it with a little more positivity? Okay, okay I know . . . what about the “I’m just a realist,” or “I just see things for the way they are” peeps out there? Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about y’all.
Before I address this, however, I would like to ask another question (you should just know, from here on out, I ask A LOT of questions. May as well accept this now)
Do you equate positivity with being unrealistic? If so, why?
You see, not once did I ever mention that because I was choosing to be positive and happy, that I was therefore choosing to not see reality.
Why can’t they go hand-in-hand? Why do my life lessons need to constantly be shrouded in a negative light? Or why can’t I take something bad and make it good? There’s a lot of crappy stuff out in the world. But is that all you are looking at, the bad?
You know what, it’s quite possible that this could all be because of a few different things…
- Like your brain chemicals/chemistry. Yup, you read that right.
– Dopamine
-Serotonin
-Oxytocin
-And cortisol to be more specific.
(Dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin = the feel good, “happy” chemicals.
Cortisol = stress, fight or flight, pain, etc.)
- It could also be due to social conditioning: How you grew up, who you surrounded yourself with, training, or teachings.
- And it could very well be from experienced conditioning. When you have experienced negative situations over and over throughout your life, you can very easily become conditioned to approach life with a more negative mindset rather than a positive one.
Are there ways to combat any of these?
There sure are! But just to leave you wanting more **wink wink** (and because I don’t want you to have to read an epic novel on my very first post), we will discuss these things in the next post. In the meantime, a downfall or a setback can go in either the positive or negative pile. Which one do you choose?
That’s right, CHOOSE. When we meet again we will get all up in the discussion of how our brain goes wacky and how to retrain it. How to turn that frown upside down and begin to look a little more on the bright side of life, even when the going gets crappy. Yes, we will still stay grounded in reality. In fact, we are gonna ground the heck out of ourselves! I’m excited!
Going back to the beginning of this post, I reminded you that I, too, am human, and I’ve done a lot of not so great decision making. From here on out, I promise to keep things real with you. I promise to share the stupid, the enlightened, the knowledge, and the research. When I’ve grown or experienced a “glow up”, and when I feel as though I’ve taken two steps back. All of it.
Let’s talk, tell stories, learn some things, and discover. It’s like a fun little wordy, Internet adventure! I so very much look forward to taking this ride with you all.
When we meet next time, we are going to unearth all sorts of “choose happy” gems, find out how to use them for good, and ways to upgrade. Welcome to Light A Fire.
All it takes is one spark to Light A Fire.
So let’s go change the world one spark at a time.
I love you. Go Forth!
~Jess
